Step Twenty-Seven

Soviet art students learning Socialist Realism. Moscow. Early 1950s. 
Step 27. I Have A Wisdom That I Wish To Discover.
This affirmation represents your true will. If you are not feeling this, it means that you are entertaining something that is false and without true foundation in your being. If you have ever felt that the truth betrayed you, then you have not recognized its value. Perhaps it disappointed your plans and goals. Perhaps you lost something you really wanted. Perhaps it prevented you from seeking something that was desirable. But in all cases it has saved you from pain and misery. Until your true function has been recognized, you cannot appreciate how the truth has served you, for until your function is discovered, you will attempt to claim and justify other functions. If these other functions are discouraged or denied by the truth, there can be great confusion and conflict. Yet, remember that the truth has always saved you from a greater error that you would have committed otherwise.

People cannot experience Knowledge because they are preoccupied with thoughts and judgments. These thoughts and judgments create a self-enclosed world for an individual, a self-enclosed world where they cannot see out. They can only see the content of their thoughts and this colors their experience of life entirely, so much so that they cannot see life at all.

Therefore, in your two 30-minute practice periods, look and see how the truth has served you. Look at experiences that were happy. Look at experiences that were painful. Particularly in painful experiences, look at how the truth has served you. Look openly. Do not defend a former position if you are tempted to do so. If pain still exists from a loss of an earlier time, accept that pain and its discouragement, but try to look and see how you were truly served by that loss.

This point of view of being served by your experience is something you must cultivate. It does not justify the experience itself. Understand this. It merely gives you an opportunity to use your experience for your advancement and your empowerment. Truth operates in the world of illusions to help those who are responding to truth in their lives. You are responding to truth or you would not be undertaking this program of development. Thus, you have arrived at the juncture where it seems that the truth competes with other things and is, therefore, very hard to recognize. In this program of development, the truth will be distinguished from everything else in such a way that you can experience it directly and will not be confused about its appearance or its beneficial existence in your life. For the truth is here to serve you as you are here to serve the truth.

Practice 27: Two 30-minute practice periods.

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Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

December 2, 2012 Round One: "If you have ever felt that the truth betrayed you, then you have not recognized its value."

I can't remember ever feeling that the truth has betrayed me. I have always felt that everything that has happened to me in this life has been for my higher good.

“Yet, remember that the truth has always saved you from a greater error that you would have committed otherwise.”

Right! This speaks to me loud and clear today. I am so grateful for this and hope that I will always have the capacity to see the truth and not barge stubbornly on to what I think I want and must have, but allow Knowledge to guide me and show me the Truth.

July 26, 2014 Round Two: First practice period - I am quite willing to accept that the truth might not be what I think it is. What I believe to be the truth may not be the truth at all. However, the truth has the habit of standing the test of time. This is all I know. If something is true it lasts.

I am quite willing to have what I believe to be the truth turn out not to be the truth in the end. I will know sooner or later. And I will be wiser for the experience of having misconstrued the truth. For things that are not true have a way of falling down in mid-flight. They fade away. They may seem bright and alluring for a while, filling me with enthusiasm, vigor, and motivation, but they will lead nowhere in the end, fizzle out, show themselves to be false, not the right thing for me.

I can’t remember ever feeling like the truth has betrayed me. I always feel that my best interests are served. I trust that the truth will be revealed even if it is not what I was hoping for, wanting, or putting my effort into. I definitely feel that I am served by my experience, and  I wish to use it for my advancement and empowerment. There is a wisdom I wish to discover, this is the driving force in life, this is what gives life its purpose, meaning and direction. If this is not so, then sure enough, life is nothing but a troubled dream. And I will know that eventually too.

Second practice – there is a wisdom I wish to discover. I wish to see beyond the illusions of my mind to experience what really is, not what I think it is. I wish to see what still hinders me and clouds my vision, what prevents me from being able to see the true picture. Wisdom is an attribute that needs to be cultivated. You don’t go to bed without wisdom one day and wake up with it the next. Accruing wisdom takes a while, at least it seems that way to me. You wish for it, ask to be shown, and gradually it becomes apparent. Seeking truth and seeking wisdom may be similar, but they are not interchangeable. I think I need to have wisdom before I can see the truth.

July 14, 2018 Round Three: The title of this Step uses the word wisdom, but then goes on to use the word “truth” 14 times in the body of the Step. So as with the second time, I am understanding that first I need wisdom and only then will I be able to know the truth. And wisdom comes with experience. This Step is about recognizing the difference between what I want to be the truth and the actual truth. I have been disappointed by what I thought was the truth (conjured up in my own fantasies) and what actually is the truth. Scheleiki is a perfect case in point. Am I creating illusions of the truth here in Krasnaya Ushna? I am living this truth, it is not a fantasy I am creating, it is a living reality. I have had thoughts about having to live Volodya if we are to live here, but no thoughts about how I shouldn’t be here. No restraint, no reticence, nothing troubling or niggling me about this place. I only have deep feelings of joy and rightness, a deep feeling of knowing I have found my place on Earth. That is Knowledge speaking. Knowledge has been speaking deeply to me here. I have no doubts this is the truth, nothing untoward has happened to dissuade me. Only Volodya’s presence is a temporary wobble in the aspic jelly. It is pushing me to move forward on building something to live in on our plot as soon as possible. Let that become a reality. This Step leads on perfectly from the last.

I was taking more pictures in the garden this morning.

Tomatoes in the garden.
Zucchini flower.
Masha, my dear little girl.

Sery, Masha’s imperturbable big “brother,” companion and fellow rogue.


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