Step Two Hundred and Seventy-Four


Step 274. I Seek Freedom From Ambivalence Today.
Seek freedom from ambivalence, for this is the source of all human confusion, misery and frustration. Ambivalence is the indecision about participating with life. It is the indecision about being in life. It is the indecision about being alive. From this indecision all manner of self-imposition, all manner of attack and all manner of confrontation are created. It is from this indecision that people live in fantasy without Knowledge.

Beware of ambivalence then. It is a sign that you are functioning without Knowledge and that you are trying to make your decisions based purely upon speculation, personal preference and fear. It is decision making without foundation that leads humanity astray. It is decision making without foundation that has led you astray. Knowledge dispels ambivalence, for it sets a clear direction. It is unconcerned with choices and with deliberation, for it simply knows what is correct and leads you towards your fulfillment, step by step, with certainty and abiding conviction.

Remember upon the hour that you wish to escape from ambivalence. Realize as you repeat your lesson how much of your life is wasted in trying to decide between this and that, in asking yourself, “What should I do now,” in querying yourself about what is right and what is wrong and in wondering and worrying about the best choice and its possible consequences. Knowledge liberates you from this taxing and wasteful application of your mind. Knowledge does not deliberate. It simply waits for the time to act and then it acts. It is absolutely certain in its direction. It is unshakable in its conviction. If you follow this, which is God’s greatest gift to you who live in the world of ambivalence and confusion, you will find that you will have purpose, meaning and direction and that day after day they will be very available to you.

In your deeper meditations attempt to give yourself wholeheartedly to your practice. Do not be ambivalent about your practice. Do not hold back out of fear or uncertainty, for you are participating in this preparation because Knowledge has called you to do so, and every day you give yourself because Knowledge calls you to do so. Thus, as we proceed through our preparation together, your Knowledge is strengthened day by day, for it is the basis of your participation here. What other reason could you possibly have for becoming a student of Knowledge?

Therefore, in your deeper practices and in your hourly remembrances, strengthen your conviction that you must escape from ambivalence. Realize the deadly cost of ambivalence. See how it keeps people lost in their ideas, denying their engagement with life. See the human cost around you. It is tremendous. Realize that with certainty everyone will find their rightful place. The world will proceed without the friction that it now must bear. In this way, all things seek fulfillment together in inclusion in life. That is The Way of Knowledge.

Practice
 274
: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

March 7, 2014 Round One: This Step speaks to me loud and clear today. It never ceases to amaze me how my Steps practice is in sync with what I am experiencing on that given day. Yesterday this Step did not sink in, my mind was clouded. Today I am practicing anew and the words shine out clear and bright. If ambivalence means being indecisive about engaging and participating in life, I am shedding my ambivalence. I step away from confrontation, attack, speculation, personal preference and fear and wish to embrace life in all its reality and step onward with conviction and certainty. I am finding as I continue on with Steps to Knowledge that I am asking myself less and less “What should I do now?” because I intuitively know what to do, as long as I have the presence of mind to stop, listen to and trust my inner knowing. Sometimes I lose my presence of mind and get lost in other people’s persuasion, in my own confusion, in my own indecision. But Steps always bring me back around. Knowledge is my foundation. I wish to be included in life, fully embrace it. I am feeling less and less ambivalent about things. I seem to immediately feel "yes" I will do this now, or "no" I will not do that, or I will put if off until another time. As soon as I feel ambivalence, I know it is not the right choice.

"Knowledge does not deliberate. It simply waits for the time to act and then it acts."

May 11, 2015 Round Two: Today I feel like isolating, retreating, not communicating with the world at large. I don’t want to have to deal with the world and the people in it. I don’t feel like being nice or smiling. I smile inwardly to myself because I am happy with what I feel on the inside, but I am not happy with what I project on the outside. Rather a paradox, since if I am happy on the inside, surely it should reflect on the outside. But I feel internally and externally at odds today. I feel as though Knowledge is sheltering me from the outside world, saying that I do not have to go there. I feel ambivalent about communicating, but I feel an immense calm and relief when I think about being alone and not having to communicate. It is a strain today, I have to make myself be nice, and I don’t want to be nice. And now I am indeed alone again and I feel the happiest and most comfortable I have felt all day. I have no indecision about being alive.
"It is decision making without foundation that has led you astray. Knowledge dispels ambivalence, for it sets a clear direction. It is unconcerned with choices and with deliberation, for it simply knows what is correct and leads you towards your fulfillment, step by step, with certainty and abiding conviction."
 So absolutely marvelous to read! This is my experience today.

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