Step Two Hundred and Eighty

Step 280. Review

Review the past two weeks, beginning with the first lesson in your Review period and continuing on each day up until the last lesson. Try to gain an overview of all that has transpired in the past two weeks. Try to see how you could deepen and improve your practice. Recognize how much time and energy are wasted in ambivalence and idle speculation. Realize how much of your energy is being wasted in doubt and confusion when you need only abide with Knowledge. Your ability to follow that which is beyond your comprehension, which is necessary here, will lead you to the greatest possible certainty that life can render to you. Through this certainty, your ideas, your actions and your perceptions will gain a uniformity that will allow them to be a powerful expression in the world, where humanity is confused and lost in the ambivalence of imagination. It is by following that you are able to give and you are able to lead. You will recognize this in time as you exercise your freedom and allow your freedom to exercise itself through you.

You are now a student of Knowledge. Dedicate yourself to the application of your preparation with increasing devotion and involvement. Allow the mistakes of your past to motivate you. They need not be and should not be a source of self-recrimination. They are intended now to be understood as the demonstration of your need for Knowledge. Thus, you may be very thankful that Knowledge is being given to you, for you are realizing that above all else it is Knowledge which you seek.

Practice 280: One long practice period.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

March 15, 2014 Round One: There have been times during the past two weeks when I have wasted time and energy in ambivalence and idle speculation, as well as in doubt and confusion. However, upon reviewing the past two weeks of Steps and examining my experience and what has transpired in this time, I feel I am beginning to abide with Knowledge and allowing Knowledge to be my anchor and guide.

"Your ability to follow that which is beyond your comprehension, which is necessary here, will lead you to the greatest possible certainty that life can render to you. Through this certainty, your ideas, your actions and your perceptions will gain a uniformity that will allow them to be a powerful expression in the world, where humanity is confused and lost in the ambivalence of imagination."

These words speak loud and clear to me today. This review has reaffirmed my certainty and confidence that I am headed in the right direction and Knowledge is becoming ever stronger within me.

May 17, 2015 Round Two: The review this time confirms for me that uncertainty, ambivalence, and idle speculation are diminishing in my life to allow Knowledge to come forward and assume a stronger presence. This does not mean that everything is hunky dory all the time without a cloud of doubt or confusion to mar an otherwise clear sky. Things are not always simple and preferences become apparent. Things are not always exactly the way I want or would choose, but then I don’t live in a vacuum and cannot stop other people from doing as they will. And I am not totally in charge of my situation at the moment, so I am not in a position to dictate my will. I am living in someone else’s house, and although I have a hefty dose of freedom, I cannot tell the landlord not to come and bother me, for instance. All I can do is accept his presence graciously and hope that his visits will not be too frequent. His presence is difficult for me tolerate since he is loud and intrusive and demanding, but I do my best and put on an agreeable face. I am accepting the responsibility for my situation, I am seeking guidance from my Teachers and feeling their presence, I am allowing the power of Knowledge to extend from me. I am doing the best I can and reaping the benefits of the gift that is offered me. I am dedicating myself to the application of my preparation with increasing devotion and involvement.

April 14, 2019 Round Three: It has been four weeks since I first called my employer about the money. This past two weeks I have been waiting for him to get back in touch with me. It has been a time of limbo, but now I feel there will be a resolution. I will talk to him tomorrow. It is true that I have wasted time and energy in ambivalence and idle speculation, in doubt and confusion, when I need only abide with Knowledge. And when I do abide with Knowledge I am certain of a positive outcome. Maybe not the outcome I am hoping for, but a positive outcome. I am following that which is beyond my comprehension and it is leading me to the greatest possible certainty that life can render me. I am experiencing this.

Step 267. There is a simple solution to all problems that face me today. Waiting for a resolution to my financial situation. Being patient.

Step 268. I will not be deceived by complexity today. I am understanding this Step in the context of my current financial dilemma. As I read the Step again today I hoped that Irina Shostakovich might be a person who is willing to relinquish anything that stands in the way of Knowledge. I understood this on the day I did this Step (April 2) and was willing to accept a simple resolution to my problem.

Step 269. The power of Knowledge will extend itself from me. When I did this Step on April 3, one of my sisters had begun showing an interest in my Steps posts on FB and asking for responses to my comments. I was not sure how to respond at first, but now I see she is really reaping some benefit from the Steps and applying them to her own situation, she is recognizing the service she is rendering to the world in her job with disabled people. I have been responding and encouraging her, but only in response to her request for feedback. I see this as the power of Knowledge extending from me. My son was visiting at this time and I was enjoying his company.

Step 270. With power comes responsibility. I seem to understand this concept, although there is a deeper meaning to this Step, about responsibility providing me with protection and being the guarantee and assurance that my gift will find a wholesome and welcome expression within me and foster my contribution to the world. I was allowing doubt to creep in over the money because waiting was having an oppressive effect on me.

Step 271. I will accept responsibility today. This Step elaborates on the previous one. It gave me a better understanding. I was still under the illusion this day (April 5) that my employer would call me over the weekend, while still in Paris. My daughter set me straight on that one a couple of days later. He will call after he gets back to Moscow. That made sense and relieved me of more anguish and speculation. I would wait. When I accept responsibility I am free to respond to life as its mystery opens up. Responsibility will enable me to love and extend myself into the world.

Step 272. My Teachers will guide me as I proceed. I have not felt any particular guidance regarding the financial situation, almost as though it were a given from the beginning, but I just have to wait to receive the money. Knowledge is not concerned about this because the outcome is known. I only feel their love and support, easing my mind, assuaging my doubts.

Step 273. My Teachers hold the memory of my Ancient Home for me. I get this. I do conjure up images of my Ancient Home and see it as a place of being. The world is a place of doing and my Teachers are with me to help me navigate its turbulent waters. I was in balance this day (April 7).

Step 274. I seek freedom from ambivalence today. Knowledge is unconcerned with choices and with deliberation, for it simply knows what is correct and leads me towards my fulfillment. I am not ambivalent. I understand that Knowledge simply waits for the time to act and then acts. I felt confident this day (April 8) that all would work out in good time with the money. It was a Knowledge-guided decision, so the outcome will be Knowledge-guided too.

Step 275. Today I seek freedom from uncertainty. I was filled with renewed conviction this day (April 9) regarding a positive outcome. All that has transpired over the past four years since moving out to the village points to the magic of Knowledge working in my life. All has gone smoothly and steadily, one step after another, and I see no reason for it to change now.

Step 276. Knowledge is my salvation. This is a superb Step that shines clarity and resolution into my life. It was a great day (April 10). I was filled with new conviction about a positive resolution of my situation. Knowledge is my salvation and I will realize with clarity of mind and simplicity of truth exactly what is necessary.

Step 277. My ideas are small, but Knowledge is great. I am beginning to recognize those thoughts that emanate from Knowledge and those thoughts that are merely imagined. I was willing this day (April 11) to go beyond the scope of my own ideas and understand that Knowledge is greater. I was waiting for my employer to call, but this was not to be, not yet. I am not top on his priority list. He just returned from Paris with a million things he has to do, calling me can wait.

Step 278. What is changeless will express itself through me. This day (April 12) I confirmed that nothing has changed in my situation, even though I had not heard from my employer, and I made the decision to call him on Monday. Now I see how correct that decision is. Of course, I can say that I am bending my thoughts to fit my preferences. But there is something abiding that runs below the surface and is giving me the certainty I feel.

Step 279. I must experience my freedom to realize it. A quiet day of staying inside, since it snowed again and was damp and chilly out, and working on NM translations. I felt accomplished. I feel that my NM translation work counts for something, even though I am not paid, I reap the benefit in other ways. I feel it is connected to positive resolution of my money dilemma.

It has taken me about two hours to do this review. I did it at the kitchen table. I am pleased with my efforts and feel I did a good job. I see the thread through this review period, the past two weeks, from doubt and speculation to certainty and confidence. It has been a period of waiting. I am glad I waited.