Step Two Hundred and Fourteen
Of course you do not understand yourself or the world, for you only understand your ideas, and they are not eternal. Therefore, they cannot provide a solid foundation upon which you must learn to stand. Thus, they can only fail and deceive you if you rely upon them instead of Knowledge to reveal yourself and the world to you.
Upon the hour remind yourself that you do not understand yourself. Free yourself from the burden of justifying your own judgments. Look upon yourself in your deeper meditation practices and remind yourself that you do not understand yourself. Now you are free to enter into stillness, for you are not attempting to use your experience to justify your fantasies about yourself. Here your mind becomes free to be itself, and you become free to appreciate yourself.
Practice 214: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.
What I understand at the moment is that my experience and my beliefs and assumptions are two different things – experience is real, something on which to build my true foundation, whereas beliefs and assumptions are misleading, unsubstantial material for building a true foundation. But is this correct? What is experience? That which is actually happening in my life rather than what is going on in my head? For me this Step harks back to Step 4. I Want What I Think I Know.
I am grappling with the sentence “…you are not attempting to use your experience to justify your fantasies about yourself.” How should I understand this?
This was the answer I received from another student.
"With Knowledge, the deeper mind within, you will understand the Greater Community presence in the world. You will have insight here. With Knowledge, you will be able to see the outcome of a relationship before it even begins. With Knowledge, you will be able to see destiny in certain things and in certain activities. Knowledge will lead you here and prevent you from going there. Knowledge will engage you with this person but not with that person, all without judgment or condemnation.
"What could be more natural to you, to your experience and to the very core of your being than the experience of Knowledge itself? So fundamental is this that most people miss it entirely. It is like a sound that is always sounding, but people cannot hear it because they are only listening for other things.
"To come to Knowledge, you must prepare for Knowledge. This you cannot do alone. To learn Knowledge at the level of the Greater Community, you must learn a Greater Community way to Knowledge. You cannot teach this to yourself by reading books or by taking different practices or ideas from different traditions. Formulate your own approach and you will stay exactly where you are. Choose a path that you did not invent for yourself and you will go somewhere you have never gone before, and you will find something that you have never found before.
"Let Knowledge carry you forward, not your preferences, ideas or ideals."
Greater Community Spirituality
Chapter 4: What is Knowledge?
March 5, 2015 Round Two: This time I am grappling with the sentence, “This is pure experience, beyond all concepts and beliefs, for concepts and beliefs can only follow the experience and attempt to provide a structure where the experience can arise again.” I understand it to mean that I only need to experience and not build concepts and beliefs for myself.
So experience exists separately from my fantasies about myself. Experience is real, and all the rest is just fantasies, concepts and beliefs.