Step One Hundred and Thirty-Two

Step 132. Let Me Learn To Be Free So That I May Join.
Your independence from the past—your past judgments, past associations, past pains, past wounds and past difficulties— gives you independence in the present. This is not to solidify your separation or to make it more complete, but instead to enable you to join meaningfully in relationship. Let this be a tacit understanding: You can do nothing in the world without relationship. You can accomplish nothing; you can advance in no direction; you can realize no truth; you can contribute nothing of value without relationship. So as your independence from the past grows, thus does your promise for inclusion in the present and the future grow as well. For freedom is meant to empower you to join.

Remember this idea upon the hour and give it consideration in light of all of your experiences today. In your two meditation practices, allow the attraction of Knowledge to pull you deeper within yourself. Allow yourself to have this experience of freedom.

Practice 132: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Here you will find the entire book free for download

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

May 4, 2013 Round One: I find great inspiration in this call to free myself from the past in order to join the present and the future, particularly to join meaningfully in relationship. I honor my past, since through the errors I committed and the difficulties I encountered, I stand where I am today. I am free of self-blame and self-chastisement, I am free to go on, empowered to join. As banal as this may sound, all I can say is “Wow!”

December 2, 2014 Round Two: I don’t see my past as a burden to free myself from. My past has served me well, and I feel I have always intrinsically been following Knowledge. What I am experiencing now though is joining with other kindred spirits in the reclamation of Knowledge. I am understanding the importance of relationship in this, I am understanding that to be passed on, the Knowledge in one person must touch the Knowledge in another, and this is relationship. It is a conscious awareness of connection and affinity. It may not be obvious at the level of the surface, personal mind, but in the deeper mind it is known. My past has been a series of stepping stones to bring me to this moment of recognition when I understand that I am free to join.

Something else my mother shared many years ago came to mind as I practiced this Step. It is another favorite of mine.

“’Come to the edge,’ (s)he said. They said, ‘We are afraid.’ ‘Come to the edge,’ (s)he said. They came. (S)He pushed them, and they flew…”

- Guillaume Apollinaire

I am sharing this photo since for me it perfectly illustrates the above phrase. It was taken on the Derbyshire moors near Sheffield, England, where I grew up. I also think I can confidently way it was taken at Whitsuntide in 1967. I look at the expressions on the faces of myself and my sisters and they speak volumes to me. Perhaps they are not clear to others, the photo is not the best quality, but to me they express the epitome of each of our characters. I am the oldest, the one whose head is right below my mother’s hand, and I am looking to the edge (into the distance) with joy and anticipation. I want to be free so I can join, I want to take that leap of faith that does not plumb me to the depths, but allows me to soar to the heights. I have been on this journey all my life and my past has helped me to reach the place I am today. In the photo I am in my tenth year.


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