Step One Hundred and Fifty-One

The Foundation of Love: Releasing Judgments and Expectations

Step 151. I Will Not Use Fear To Support My Judgments.

Do not use fear to support your judgments of yourself and the world, for these judgments are born of your uncertainty and anxiety. Thus, they lack the foundation of Knowledge. Thus, they lack the meaning and value that only Knowledge can bestow. Do not rely upon your judgments of yourself and the world. As you withdraw from them, you will realize that their source is fear, for you have only been trying to comfort yourself with your judgments, to provide a false security, stability and identity which you feel you are lacking. Therefore, be without a substitute for Wisdom and Knowledge, and allow Wisdom and Knowledge to arise naturally.

Upon the hour repeat your statement, and consider it in light of all things that are occurring today. In your two deeper practices, consider the meaning of today’s idea as you think about it carefully. Apply your mind in a state of work as you attempt to penetrate the meaning of today’s lesson. Do not be comforted by premature conclusions. Investigate deeply with your mind in your practice periods. Use your mind actively. Consider many things within yourself while maintaining a concentration on today’s idea. If you do this, you will understand many things about Wisdom and ignorance, and your understanding will be born of compassion and true self-appreciation. For only from a place of self-love can you offer correction to yourself and to others.

Practice 151: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

June 4, 2013 Round One: This is a very profound Step. It delves to a much deeper level than perhaps I have reached yet, but I feel I have some inkling of what it is saying. A situation is developing in my life today that calls for deeper trust and banishing fear and self-doubt. It is so easy to judge and come to premature conclusions, to operate from uncertainty and anxiety. However, something else, something much truer and deeper keeps coming to the surface of my mind, nudging me forward, telling me that I am doing the right thing. And self-love is the key here. It is impossible to operate effectively and productively in the world from a place of self-criticism and self-doubt. Today I will not use fear to support my judgments.

December 23, 2014 Round Two: This is still a difficult step for me, since it is hard to get my head around. It is the perfect step for me today though. A situation I am dealing with is helping me gain some clarity. At least, I am seeing this Step in the light of the situation. I am seeing how judgments are fear-based and if I walk away from my judgments, I can see things from a clearer, happier perspective. 

These words ring loud and clear for me today as I contemplate this Step: “only from a place of self-love can you offer correction to yourself and to others.”

I am taking Tom C’s cue here (what he shares from his journal on Step 151 under the text of Step 152 - he often shares things in his Step journal that speak deeply to me) and elaborating more on the “situation I am dealing with today.” 

The situation I am dealing with is my oldest daughter bringing up things she is remembering from my drinking days, things she saw and wished she hadn’t. She hasn’t elaborated so far, but memories are surfacing for me. And I am wondering. I have dealt with my past drinking days, my alcoholism, and moved on. I made mistakes, I have “issues,” shortcomings/defects, that became glaringly obvious when under the influence of alcohol. This affected my daughter in some way. I will not use fear to support my judgments. I am in a safe place now, I am with Knowledge. My only wish today is for my daughter to be in that place too.

November 29, 2018 Round Three: I am still not sure I understand the meaning behind this Step. I am not sure I understand how my fear is the source of my judgements, how I use them to comfort myself and provide a sense of false security, stability and identity that I am lacking. I am to apply my mind actively in my meditation practices to consider the meaning of today’s lesson. I think the key is loving myself, appreciating myself, looking at myself with compassion, which comes from true Wisdom, and not ignorance. Once I appreciate myself, I can offer correction to myself and others. I think I have reached this stage already.

Meditation 5.00-5.30. I did the entire 30 minutes today and danced with my children and friends to the alarm tune. It always makes me feel happy and in the flow. I felt a great expansion of mind again and tried to analyse today’s lesson and its meaning. Some light dawned, but I don’t think I use fear to support my judgments, for I do not fear.