Step Ninety-Four

Step 94. My Freedom Is To Find My Purpose.

What value can freedom possibly have except to enable you to find your purpose and to fulfill it? Without purpose, freedom is merely the right to be chaotic, the right to live without external restraint. But without external restraint, you will merely act out the harshness of your internal restraint. Is this an improvement? Overall it is not an improvement, though it can lead to opportunities for self-discovery.

Do not call chaos freedom, for this is not freedom. Do not think that because others do not limit you that you are in an exalted state. Realize that your freedom is to enable you to find your purpose and to fulfill it. Understanding freedom in this way will enable you to utilize all aspects of your life—your current situation, your relationships, your involvements, your successes, your errors, your attributes and your limitations—everything on behalf of discovering your purpose. For when a greater purpose begins to express itself through you in a manner that you can recognize and accept, you will feel at last that your life is being completely integrated. You will no longer be separate individuals within yourself, but one person, whole and unified, with all aspects of yourself engaged in serving this one purpose.

The freedom to commit errors will not redeem you. Errors can be committed under any circumstances, and freedom can be found under any circumstances. Therefore, seek to learn about freedom. Knowledge will express itself when it is unfettered and when you as a person have developed sufficiently to be able to carry its great mission in the world. Your Spiritual Teachers, who abide with you beyond your visual sight, are here to initiate you into Knowledge. They have their own method for doing this, for they understand the true meaning of freedom and its true purpose in the world.

Therefore, in your practice periods we once again affirm the power of this statement and give you two opportunities to experience it deeply within yourself. You do not need to try to speculate about this mentally, but simply relax so that it can be experienced. Focus your mind completely to allow it to experience the greatness of the presence of God that is with you and that is within you, for this is looking in the direction of freedom where freedom truly exists.

Practice 94: Two 30-minute practice periods.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

March 17, 2013 Round One: The concept of freedom is emerging for me as I release myself from all expectations and assumptions, instead allowing Knowledge to reveal what needs to be revealed as the time becomes ripe. I cannot yet say that my greater purpose is expressing itself in a manner I can recognize and accept, for I cannot recognize it yet, but I am ready to accept it, whatever it may be. This is how I understand freedom today, as the willingness to accept whatever comes my way.

October 17, 2014 Round Two: "For when a greater purpose begins to express itself through you in a manner that you can recognize and accept, you will feel at last that your life is being completely integrated."

I saw blue during my practices. Blue for communication, blue for trust and responsibility, blue for peace and tranquility. I wish to recognize and accept the expression of my greater purpose, feel how it is integrating my life, know that it is showing me what is of true value and releasing me from pursuits that do not serve this greater purpose.

I am drawn to this haunting song by a Georgian singer called Nino Katamadze - she is magical! This song is from her Blue album and is called Olei which is the Georgian for "with love." There are no words, just her expressing love through her music.

P.S. The picture of the two children at the 0.56 seconds point reminds me in a playful way of me and my husband.

September 30, 2018 Round Three: Feeling a bit better today, but still not 100%. This is a difficult Step to understand and I don’t think I’ve done it justice in the past. I have glossed over the surface. I don’t really understand this sentence, for instance:

But without external restraint, you will merely act out the harshness of your internal restraint. 

While I feel this passage holds the key, but needs to be fully grasped.

For when a greater purpose begins to express itself through you in a manner that you can recognize and accept, you will feel at last that your life is being completely integrated. You will no longer be separate individuals within yourself, but one person, whole and unified, with all aspects of yourself engaged in serving this one purpose.

I feel I am free to live my purpose here in the country. Hilary talked about my idealism in reference to our situation here. Juhl talked about me wanting things my way. Are they right? I don’t think I am being idealistic. Idealism is when nothing manifests because you have set your sights too high. But my dream has manifested because I accepted what was given to me, it isn’t ideal, but it is the perfect thing. Only Volodya is a bone of contention now to be dealt with. We shall see. He hasn’t said when he is coming back yet.

I talked to Tom yesterday about the apartment situation and Liana moving in. He said she would be at the end of October. He said Greg had something important to tell me. Greg hasn’t said anything yet. I am wondering if he is going to be living somewhere else. The only other thing I found out today is it is something to do with his personal life. But he has still not shared the details. He said he will write later. Standing by…

First meditation 5.14-5.34 - in front room sitting in armchair, only 20 minutes, I was interrupted right at this point. Second meditation - resting in bed 12.26 - 12.56. I concentrated on feeling the freedom it is talking about here. I feel I need to be free of my family, but my purpose is to serve them and their future. I have freed myself physically by coming to the village, but I am still bound by my heart and knowing I am here to serve them. I am freer here to serve them than I am in Moscow.