Step Seventy-Seven

Perfect place for a rest

Step 77. Review

In your review today, once again review the past week of practices and instruction. Once again examine the qualities within yourself which aid you in your preparation and the qualities within yourself that make your preparation more difficult. Observe these things objectively. Learn to strengthen those aspects of yourself that encourage and strengthen your participation in the reclamation of Knowledge, and learn to adjust or correct those qualities that interfere. You must recognize both to have Wisdom. You must learn of truth and you must learn of error. You must do this to progress, and you must do this to serve others. Unless you have learned of error and can look at it objectively and understand how it has arisen and how it can be relieved—until you have learned these things—you will not know how to serve others, and their errors will anger you and frustrate you. With Knowledge your expectations will be in harmony with the nature of another. With Knowledge you will learn how to serve and you will forget how to condemn.

Practice 77: One long practice period.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

February 22, 2013 Round One: I have spent more time than I intended on this review, but ultimately have concluded that I am aided in my preparation by my desire to seek and my quest for Knowledge, understanding this to be the core of my being. Having become aware that I am on a mission from God and not here merely to reach other transitory goals such as wealth, acclaim, abundance, happiness, and so on, I am intent on discovering what that mission is. And I am hindered in my preparation by my arrogance, egoism, judgmental attitude, aggrandized ideas about how right I am, to name those "qualities" that immediately come to mind (there are no doubt more). But I recognize my own errors and accept them as stepping stones leading to greater awareness and Knowledge, so I pick up and go on. I am still not sure how I can serve.

September 29, 2014 Round Two: This has been a hard week of Steps – not hard to practice, but hard to feel I have accomplished anything, since the assignments were those I call “tall orders.” Listening to my True Self, not judging others, being aware of my greater purpose, and keeping all these lofty spiritual concepts in mind all the time is a lot to ask a body. Maybe I have just reached a plateau on the climb where I need to rest longer. 

Continuing with this review today, I was struck by the following sentence in this Step: “Unless you have learned of error and can look at it objectively and understand how it has arisen and how it can be relieved—until you have learned these things—you will not know how to serve others, and their errors will anger you and frustrate you.”

I think I am making progress here because humor always helps in situations that could otherwise anger and frustrate me. A case in point is when our car GPS navigator (how did we ever manage without it) led us on a wild goose chase yesterday (Sunday) to avoid a horrendous traffic jam as we drove back into Moscow in the evening. It added three or more hours onto our journey and we almost ended up in the lake. I found it so hilariously funny though that I had enough to keep me laughing for the rest of the night. And we found the sea buckthorn we (or should I say Sasha) have been avidly looking for this year.

And here is one of the romantic songs Sasha used to play for me on his record player. I really do love him. “With Knowledge your expectations will be in harmony with the nature of another.”

So all in all, I think I am still doing okay.

September 12, 2018 Round Three: Again this sentence drew me: “Unless you have learned of error and can look at it objectively and understand how it has arisen and how it can be relieved—until you have learned these things—you will not know how to serve others, and their errors will anger you and frustrate you.”

I am applying this to Volodya. I wish to learn how to serve him graciously without condemnation, just accepting him as he is and doing my best to live with it until I can be free.

This past week of Steps has been about going beyond my surface mind to discover more of my True Self and listen to my deeper inclinations. I do not always trust my deeper inclinations and so am led astray. I am led into relationships that cause me discomfort and arouse a sense of obligation I later do not wish to keep. Volodya is a case in point, even though he has given us so much, but we too have kept up our end of the bargain famously. Why must we put up with his imposition now?

I feel I have learned from my errors. I don’t see my current situation as failure to learn from my errors, but perhaps it is. However, the fact that we have found a plot here and intend to build our own house points to the wisdom of our decision to take advantage of the opportunity offered us. It’s just a pity Volodya is the person he is with his demands and attitude.

All in all, I am at peace with myself, I am listening to my Self and following my deeper inclinations. What is appearing at the surface must be dealt with and tolerated until I can be free. I am trusting that I will have the funds to carry out my plans, which I believe may be part of my greater purpose.

What aids me in my preparation? My desire to know, my desire to go deeper with my inner knowing, my desire to fulfill my purpose, my desire for peace and harmony, my desire to experience myself as a greater entity in the whole, my desire to make my contribution, wherever it may be.

What qualities within me make my preparation more difficult? Nothing monumental. Perhaps my arrogance still, thinking I know more than I do, thinking I can skip things, not follow the instructions as they are given, not staying on a Step until I faithfully do the two full meditation practices on the days they are called for. I don’t want to wait, I don’t want to procrastinate, but I don’t see that as a difficulty. I believe I am giving Steps their best shot and gaining the most benefit from them.