Step Fifty-Seven

Margarita in Mikhail Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita (one of my all-time favorite books)

Step 57. Freedom Is With Me.

Freedom abides within you, waiting to be born within you, waiting to be claimed and accepted, waiting to be lived and applied and waiting to be honored and followed. You who have lived under the weight of your own imagination, you who have been a prisoner to your own thoughts and to the thoughts of others, you who have been intimidated and threatened by the appearances of this world now have hope, for true freedom abides within you. It awaits you. You have brought it with you from your Ancient Home. You carry it with you each day, each moment.

Within this program of development, you are now learning to turn towards freedom and away from fear and the darkness of your own imagination. In freedom you will find stability and consistency. This will give you the foundation upon which to build your love and sense of self-worth, and this foundation shall not be shaken by the world, for it is greater than the world. It is not born of the misgiving of separation. It is born of the truth of your total inclusion in life.

Upon the hour repeat today’s idea and take a moment to feel that freedom is with you. As you come closer to freedom throughout the day, you will be able to recognize more and more clearly what holds you back. You will realize that it is but your adherence to your own thoughts that holds you back. It is your interest in your own imagination that holds you back. This will lighten your burden, and you will realize that a true choice is available. This realization will give you the strength to come to freedom today.

In your two deep meditation practices, repeat today’s idea and attempt to allow your mind to be still, which is the beginning of its freedom. This practice in stillness will enable your mind to shake loose the chains that bind it—its unforgiveness from the past, its anxiety over the future and its avoidance of the present. In stillness your mind rises above all that keeps it small, hidden and isolated within its own darkness. How close is freedom to you today who need but be still to receive it. And how great is your reward, you who have come into the world, for freedom is with you.

Practice 57: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

January 16, 2013 Round One: I was stumped for a while about what is meant by “freedom” in this Step. Now I realize it is freedom from my self-inflicted captivity, yes, self-inflicted, because I realize that if I feel hampered or small or intimidated in any area of my life, it is of my own doing, it is because I am a victim of my own thoughts and imaginings about the situation, about myself. And I allow myself to be intimidated by the thoughts of others. 

In reality, I have the choice to abandon such thoughts and imaginings and step boldly forward toward what I feel to be true. I have often repeated to myself in the past that I am my own worst enemy. And it becomes so obvious again now. I have no one else to blame for my fears, anguish, and narrow thinking but myself. It is indeed my own thoughts that hold me back. And I can change those feelings and thoughts at any moment, upon command, as soon as I realize my self-inflicted bondage. I can free myself from those bonds and claim the Knowledge that is rightfully mine, emerge from the darkness into the light--I have the freedom to do that.

September 5, 2014 Round Two: This time I feel I have moved beyond the self-inflicted bondage I wrote about the first time to realize there is a greater Truth. This requires I not permit myself to be influenced by other people’s opinions. I free myself from the confines of what the world imposes on me.

I have to admit that I was not consistent with the hourlies today, but I did do the two 30-minute deep meditation practices. I tried to empty my mind totally of extraneous thoughts. My understanding of freedom filtered through as follows:

Freedom from a cluttered mind, freedom to abide in the expanses of my deeper mind where Knowledge resides. Freedom from chattering and clamor, freedom from a fettered mind.

"You will realize that it is but your adherence to your own thoughts that holds you back. It is your interest in your own imagination that holds you back."

Freedom from my own reactions – I have not experienced this yet. I am still held captive by my own imagination. Freedom to follow what I know is right. When there is no other choice but the one I have chosen, this is freedom.

"In freedom you will find stability and consistency. This will give you the foundation upon which to build your love and sense of self-worth, and this foundation shall not be shaken by the world, for it is greater than the world."

This is precisely what I am striving for today, having a firm foundation on which to build my love and sense of self-worth. The freedom to just be me and follow what I know.

Margarita knew what she wanted, she had no doubts, she was free.

August 19, 2018 Round Three: For freedom to manifest, I need to be still and claim and accept the freedom that is in me, which I have brought from my Ancient Home. I am to recognize what holds me back, the darkness of my own thoughts and imagination. My own thoughts hold me back. I have the choice to move away from my thoughts and imagination to embrace freedom. I can move closer to freedom today. I forgive my past and have faith in the future. I do not avoid the present.

First 30-min practice - 4.55 - 5.25. I sat in stillness in an armchair in the front room. I was still with a focused mind. I felt the freedom that is mine to claim and accept. Freedom is with me.

Second practice - resting 14.30 - 15.00. I dozed off. I thought throughout the day about how freedom is with me. I have reconnected with Naomi :) I wrote to her out of the blue (the first time in 8 years since Ellen made the effort to find all our old Pushkin Institute friends) to ask about the possibility of finding someone to publish Potemkin’s EuRICAA brochure) She wrote in one of her return emails: “I have vivid memories of your 1981 Pushkin year colt-like gamboling around, your unique coat and hat, I envied your freedom …

She wrote this great article.

First person: One woman's unlikely path to The Sporting Green

This has clinched the freedom thing for me. Freedom is with me.