Be very careful not to judge yourself as a student. You are not in a position to judge yourself as a student. You do not have the criteria, for you are not a teacher of Self Knowledge. You will find as you proceed that some of your failures will lead to greater successes, and that some of what you thought of as successes may lead to failures. This will underscore your whole system of evaluation and will lead you to a greater recognition. This will make it possible for you to be compassionate towards yourself and towards others whom you now judge for their successes and their failures.
Review, then, the first forty-eight lessons of practice. Try to recall how you responded to each Step and how deeply you involved yourself. Try to look at your successes, your accomplishments and your obstacles. You have come this far. Congratulations! You have passed the first test. Be encouraged now to proceed, for Knowledge is with you.
Practice 49: Several long practice periods.
I read somewhere as I began this review that 2012 was a Year of Revelation - indeed this is true for me. And I feel that 2013 will pave the way to even deeper learning and desire to know the Greater Truth. I am cultivating the ability to listen to something deeper than the mind, I feel as though I am able to go through the mind and have become aware of this Greater Truth.
Much has been revealed as I take this journey and more will be revealed as I continue. And I do feel encouraged to proceed.
I feel so blessed and grateful. Thank you!!!
August 5, 2018 Round Three: I am feeling resistant to doing this review this time. I don’t want to spend the time. But I will.
I spent one hour reviewing the first seven Steps. I decided to open Secrets of Heaven randomly for each Step and write down what I read. Amazingly, each time was in tune with the particular Step.
Step 1. I am without Knowledge now.
Step 2. Knowledge is with me. Where am I?
Step 3. What do I really know?
Step 4. I want what I think I know.
Step 5. I believe what I want to believe. There are things I know will happen, that I am certain about, not beliefs. They are not even hopes, they are just inner knowing that it will be. They are not ambitions, they are practical ways of being that will bring benefit to both me and others. Secrets of Heaven, 241. “Inner guidance is simply the re-establishment of an established relationship. This is its true meaning. Though it seems remarkable to the one who receives it, it is simply a re-establishment of an old bond, as if an old friend has re-entered your life for a specific purpose.”
Step 6. I have a true foundation in the world. I am experiencing this now. I have come a long way in my understanding of this step. Now I have integrated it into my being. I am much more content and comfortable in the world, for I am experiencing my true foundation. Secrets of Heaven, 128. “You are guardians of a treasure unknowingly. Your treasure is your lineage, the accrued learning of all your activities here and abroad.” I was just talking to Sasha about this very thing as we walked in the forest this morning.
Step 7. Review. I am gaining a sense of how each Step follows on from and builds on the previous, forming a coherent fabric that is harmonious and consistent. Secrets of Heaven, 162. “Your world has made it possible for many of you to now seek greater things without hindrance. The temporary freedoms you experience in your world bear witness to this fact.” I am in a position to receive truth and certainty in life.
August 6, 2018 Day Two Steps 8-14
Step 8. Today I will be still. I am better able to practice stillness this time. I can focus on an inner point. If nothing else, I can focus on a point behind my eyelids and see patterns emerging. Secrets of Heaven, 48. “There is no privacy. And yet, truly, this is your salvation because all that you desire is with you. Ones that you have loved in lives past, the accomplishments you have made, the dear ones with whom you have bonded, are all available to you now.”
Step 13. I want to be separate to be unique. I do not need to be separate to be unique. I think I do, which is why I have chosen separation, but I can still be unique as part of the whole, part of Creation. I am a unique part of a single whole. My life demonstrates a unique expression of a Greater Reality. Secrets of Heaven,74. “We hold the key, but you possess the treasure. We cannot contribute without you, and you cannot contribute without us. It is a good Plan.”
Step 14. Review. I am getting to the stage where words are futile and there is no point in trying to express my experience in words. It is intrinsic, it is part of my being, it is felt and experienced. It is not to be spoken about for it cannot be expressed that way. Secrets of Heaven, 261. “Knowledge will take you beyond all concepts, for it is not based upon concepts. It is the reasoning faculty that is inherent within your true Self. It can negotiate the world far more effectively than you can, for it has only one purpose and not conflicting ones. A man or woman of Knowledge is a powerful force in the world.”
August 7, 2018 Day Three Steps 15-21
Step 20. I will not let doubt and confusion slow my progress. I am well past doubting and feeling confused. I feel strong, stable, aware, confident of what is expected of me, willing to proceed, open to what Knowledge has in store for me. I love my life and am present to what it is showing me. Secrets of Heaven, 33. “Be satisfied that you can feel our presence, for greater than words it is. Your heart will answer us. It knows the language that we speak, the mission that we have with you. For the heart is not blind and responds only to this one calling.”
August 8, 2018 Day Four Step 22-29
Step 22. I am surrounded by the Teachers of God. The Teachers have passed this way before, they know where they are going and I am to follow, ever aware of their love, support and direction. Secrets of Heaven, 127. “Contact with the Teachers is an exercise in remembering your true mind and your true relationships. The purpose inherent in this is to call you into service.”
Step 23. I am loved, surrounded and supported by the Teachers of God. I no longer question this and accept this gift with humility, accepting too that I am one of the few with the promise and opportunity to embrace this. I no longer feel arrogant in this respect. I am merely humbly accepting my heritage and the Truth. Secrets of Heaven, 186. “The experience of Greatness will give you the perspective needed to give yourself permission to follow what you know.”
Step 24. I am worthy of God’s love. I am feeling this worthiness now and accept it. It expresses my True Self. I am God’s love so how can I be unworthy of it? I have been repairing my errors so that I can experience my True Self so that it may be rendered into the world. The day I did this Step I practiced feeling the Presence as suggested by Marshall. Secrets of Heaven, 285. “You need a larger perspective to comprehend the work of God. God is not human. Goes does not think like a human. God is not made in your image. God has no image. The Source of all life accounts for all life.”
Step 25. I am at one with the Greatest Truth of life. The true establishment of my great relationship is the God-source within me, God’s love for me. Once I experience this, I can extend it out into the world. Once received, it will give of itself naturally. I understand this now. Secrets of Heaven, 300. “If you yearn for it, seek it. You cannot define it. You cannot predict the outcome, but you seek Knowledge because it is natural to do so. For Knowledge contains the memory of your Creator, of your help and of your meaning in this world.”
Step 26. My errors give birth to my Knowledge. Error brings me to value truth and hence leads to true Knowledge. This is the only benefit of error. I understand what this Step is getting at about errors. Secrets of Heaven, 28. “We cannot take your habit of suffering from you, but we can demonstrate to you that it is no longer of value to you, and need not be called upon in response to change or to new experience or information. You are still in charge of your experience, but you cannot lead yourself.”
Step 27. I have a Wisdom that I wish to discover. I was served by the loss of a dream in Scheleiki. The truth served me. It brought me to a new open door and greater joy and fulfillment. This experience advanced and empowered me. Secrets of Heaven, 80. "At this time, as your commitment to participate will grow, your wisdom must grow as well. This is not an easy task. For you must wholeheartedly participate in something that you cannot understand and perhaps only rarely experience.”
Step 28. Review. A powerful review with many insights. I am coming home. Secrets of Heaven, 166. “We wish to cultivate your Knowledge so that you may make wise decisions. You need to do this particularly for those who follow you. If you are to teach the restoration of Knowledge within the world, which is your purpose, then you must learn to reclaim it for yourself in the areas of greatest personal preference.”
August 9, 2018 Day Five Steps 29-35. I decided not to use Secrets of Heaven any more. I keep opening to the same pages.
Step 29. I will observe myself today to learn of Knowledge. I am becoming more and more aware of how I feel and what I am doing at any given moment. I am able to observe my emotions and rein myself in if necessary.
Step 30. Today I will observe my world. The world I see every day is a marvel, a peaceful haven far from the madding crowd. I bask in the glory of the world I see here. It is not the world at large, it is a small corner of paradise.
Step 31. I wish to see a world I have never seen before. I was told in the last step that I have not seen the world the way it really is because I place my judgment on the world. This may be true, but still I feel I do not judge much, especially here in my magnificent surroundings. What is there to judge amidst such peace and beauty?
Step 32. The Truth is with me. I can feel it. Yes, I can. I am experiencing this. I experienced it during the week I did these Steps, it became blatantly obvious to me, I became clearly conscious of it. There are just things I know. This is the Truth.
Step 33. I have a mission in my life to fulfill. Maybe I have already fulfilled my mission, who knows. I do not know what it is, but I am sure I can do it and have probably already done it. I won’t know until I leave this world.
Step 34. I am a beginning student of Knowledge. I am teachable, I am still learning, but I do have something under my belt, I am not here empty-handed. But I am still in the beginning student mode, since I cannot claim to know everything…yet, if ever. I don’t think it is possible to know everything. Then what would we do? I am happy to be a beginning student of Knowledge.
Step 35. Review. I am not to use my life for understanding, I am simply to observe and not judge, then I will be in a better position to understand. This past week is supposed to have given me an opportunity to learn something of The Greater Community Way of Knowledge. Have I learned anything? I believe I have, but it is tucked away in the recesses of my mind. I can catch glimpses of it, but it is not accessible all the time. I feel the main point is that things are not as they seem and I must always remain open and flexible. I am not to allow myself to become bogged down in my emotions, assumptions and fantasies.
August 10, 2018 - I did this review after I got back from our walk, before lunch, don’t remember the precise time.
Step 36. My life is a mystery to explore. I welcome this mystery and wait in anticipation for what will unfold, utterly confident that it will be for my higher good and the higher good of all those involved.
Step 37. There is a way to Knowledge. There may be many tangential ways, but the main way is through Stillness. This is the realm of Knowledge, where in stillness all things shall be known. The trick is to become fully present to this Stillness without preferences and fantasies, thus allowing Knowledge to manifest in my life.
Step 38. God knows the way to Knowledge. This is the answer to the last Step. All other ways I may think of and construe for myself are only tangential, the icing on the cake, the main substance lies with God and understanding God and how God works in the world.
Step 39. The power of God is with me. I know that God has placed Knowledge within me, it is a gift from the Creator of All Life. Thus, I accept that the power of God is with me. The power of God is manifested through Knowledge, which is manifested within me. So it all makes sense.
Step 40. Today I will feel the power of God. I no longer wish to be lost in valuing my own thoughts, I wish to feel the power of God manifesting in my life. I have to know that my thoughts, good as they may seem, may not be the Truth. I have to be willing to let them go.
Step 41. I am not afraid of the power of God. I don’t think I have ever been and I am certainly not now. I am ready for whatever the power of God, the power of Knowledge, has in store for me, for I know it can only be good.
Step 42. Review. I have the self-worth to accept the gifts offered me and reap their rewards and benefits. I feel a calm well of strength within me. I know and I do not doubt what I know.
August 11, 2018 - 7.13 - 8.00
Step 43. My will is to know God. I am not fearful regarding what I know and most deeply feel. I do not fear my own will. And yes, my will is to know God. This is the most natural will and I am open to recognize and experience it.
Step 44. I wish to know my own strength. Maybe I don’t know how strong I am, maybe I have not yet plumbed the depths of my own strength, or maybe I think I am stronger than I actually am. I have not had the opportunity to put it to the test yet. But I believe I am strong and can handle anything that comes my way.
Step 45. Alone I can do nothing. My physical self is limited and I need to work through it and realize I cannot do anything alone. I am lowering my expectations of myself. I realize I need the assistance of others, that all is a joint effort. I cannot take the credit for anything I do, for I can do nothing alone. Even if I do something without the contribution of others, I am still assisted by my Teachers and Spiritual Family. I never fully do anything alone, for I do not have those capabilities.
Step 46. I must be small to be great. This follows on from the last Step. I accept that I need to work in conjunction with others, that I am too small and limited to go it alone. However, this understanding embraces my greatness. In relationship, I am great. I am doing a great work and cannot come down.
Step 47. Why do I need Teachers? Because I can do nothing alone and am too small to accomplish anything without the assistance of others. I do not know it all, so I need someone to teach me.
Step 48. True instruction is available to me. It is if I am humble enough to accept it. True instruction comes from my Teachers and my Spiritual Family. My task is to distinguish this instruction from the ideas and thoughts that come from my surface mind. These thoughts are not true, for I cannot create true ideas myself, I can only receive them.
Step 49. Review. I have done this review over the past seven days - seven steps each day. I feel I have done it to the best of my ability, reviewing the instructions for each day and my experience. I have been successful in many ways and have experienced new accomplishments. I have a deeper and better understanding of how Knowledge works in my life and am more in tune with myself and my world. I am also aware of the obstacles. My surface mind throws out things and I must stop and reorient myself. But at least I am aware and always moving on.