Step Forty-Nine

Step 49. Review

This marks the completion of your seventh week of practice. In this Review, it is asked of you to review all seven weeks of practice, reviewing all instructions and recalling your experience of using each one. This may require several longer practice periods, but it is quite essential for you to gain a comprehension of what it means to be a student and how learning is actually accomplished.

Be very careful not to judge yourself as a student. You are not in a position to judge yourself as a student. You do not have the criteria, for you are not a teacher of Self Knowledge. You will find as you proceed that some of your failures will lead to greater successes, and that some of what you thought of as successes may lead to failures. This will underscore your whole system of evaluation and will lead you to a greater recognition. This will make it possible for you to be compassionate towards yourself and towards others whom you now judge for their successes and their failures.

Review, then, the first forty-eight lessons of practice. Try to recall how you responded to each Step and how deeply you involved yourself. Try to look at your successes, your accomplishments and your obstacles. You have come this far. Congratulations! You have passed the first test. Be encouraged now to proceed, for Knowledge is with you.

Practice 49:
 Several long practice periods.

Here you will find the entire book free for download

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

January 5, 2013 Round One: I spent the last days of the old year and first days of the new year in this review, trying to digest all I have learned until now, re-reading the first 49 Steps, going back over my responses, and understanding the depth of my involvement. And I am happy to say that I am satisfied, I feel I have passed the first test and that Knowledge is indeed with me. 

I read somewhere as I began this review that 2012 was a Year of Revelation - indeed this is true for me. And I feel that 2013 will pave the way to even deeper learning and desire to know the Greater Truth. I am cultivating the ability to listen to something deeper than the mind, I feel as though I am able to go through the mind and have become aware of this Greater Truth.

Much has been revealed as I take this journey and more will be revealed as I continue. And I do feel encouraged to proceed.

I feel so blessed and grateful. Thank you!!!

August 27, 2014 Round Two: I spent a week doing this review, taking seven steps each day and going back to reread the step and my response. I made notes on what spoke to me in each step and recapitulated my experience.

My goal was to internalize what I had learned even more, reiterating how each step spoke to me, what I understood from it, how I applied it to my own experience, and what results I received. I gave myself a plus when I felt I was making good progress, a minus when I felt my progress was slow, and a plus/minus when I felt I was making some progress but was still not sure about many things.

It is a lot of material to digest and I feel I gain the most when I do not push myself, but allow the teaching to percolate slowly, dripping drop by drop down into the deep well of my mind.

This Step talks about a whole system of evaluation. What came to mind for me was stringing beads onto a thread. This idea came to me when I recalled a serial I had seen on TV a while ago. I did not avidly watch the serial, I just caught some parts of it, but one thing stuck in my mind. The leading female character found a box of red and black beads and thought up a game to play with her family (let me explain that she and her husband had adopted a family of four dysfunctional children and were trying to find a way to make positive contact with them). The game was that each member of the family could add a bead to the thread strung up in the kitchen – a red one if something good had happened that day and a black one for a bad day. The point was to know what kind of day everyone was having even if they didn’t want to talk about it. The children did not take to the idea, so the mother ended up moving the string of beads down into the basement and playing the game by herself. There would be times during the unfolding of the story where we would see her adding a red or black bead to the string.

My beads are different, but I feel the concept is the same. Beads are strung on a string and each bead tells a story, takes up its place between the bead before it and the bead after it, each one blending harmoniously to form a whole system. It is a long journey and it must not be rushed. I try to plant my foot firmly as I take each step, satisfied with the part of the journey already covered and joyfully anticipating what still lies ahead.

August 5, 2018 Round Three: I am feeling resistant to doing this review this time. I don’t want to spend the time. But I will.

I spent one hour reviewing the first seven Steps. I decided to open Secrets of Heaven randomly for each Step and write down what I read. Amazingly, each time was in tune with the particular Step.

Step 1. I am without Knowledge now.
Knowledge is the greater aspect of my mind I have brought with me from my Ancient Home. Knowledge is what God has placed within me to reclaim. I understand this. I am happy this is so. But I understand I have to make the effort myself. This is how learning is actually accomplished. Secrets of Heaven, 66. “In order to protect you in your learning and assure that you progress, we have remained hidden.”

Step 2. Knowledge is with me. Where am I?
I am far from the madding crowd. I do not have to deal with trepidations of the world. Secrets of Heaven, 71. “The tragedies that you perceive in your world are minor. All they do is destroy the communication process. The purpose of attack is nothing other than to disable communication.” I understand that what I am shown is not what is true. Knowledge represents my True Mind where the Truth be known. I live in a Knowledge-based world within myself where I am gaining access to my True Self and my True Mind. This is where I really am.

Step 3. What do I really know?
I am to distinguish this question from all beliefs, wants, thoughts, hopes, fears and continuously examine whatever answers I give to this question to see if they represent my beliefs or assumptions. The word “really” is emphasized. I am to distinguish what is real from what is fantasy. I can do this now. There are things I know that are not fantasy. But only time will tell. Secrets of Heaven, 296. “You can always doubt what we say. But it is more difficult to doubt what you know. Whatever your engagement is through time, the only real result will be what you know.”

Step 4. I want what I think I know. 
I realize that much of my thinking is based on my assumptions and this provides a flimsy foundation to live on. But I do not want I think I know, I want what is based on a true foundation, on Knowledge. Secrets of Heaven, 227. "A high ideal gives direction to the conscious mind to seek its own depth. Yet it cannot take you into the depth. It is here that your Teachers, who are members of your Spiritual family, will take a more direct role in your development. For from this place forward, you cannot lead yourself. You cannot go alone. You need guidance and companionship, a spiritual community both here and abroad.”

Step 5. I believe what I want to believe. There are things I know will happen, that I am certain about, not beliefs. They are not even hopes, they are just inner knowing that it will be. They are not ambitions, they are practical ways of being that will bring benefit to both me and others. Secrets of Heaven, 241. “Inner guidance is simply the re-establishment of an established relationship. This is its true meaning. Though it seems remarkable to the one who receives it, it is simply a re-establishment of an old bond, as if an old friend has re-entered your life for a specific purpose.”

Step 6. I have a true foundation in the world. I am experiencing this now. I have come a long way in my understanding of this step. Now I have integrated it into my being. I am much more content and comfortable in the world, for I am experiencing my true foundation. Secrets of Heaven, 128. “You are guardians of a treasure unknowingly. Your treasure is your lineage, the accrued learning of all your activities here and abroad.” I was just talking to Sasha about this very thing as we walked in the forest this morning.

Step 7. Review. I am gaining a sense of how each Step follows on from and builds on the previous, forming a coherent fabric that is harmonious and consistent.  Secrets of Heaven, 162. “Your world has made it possible for many of you to now seek greater things without hindrance. The temporary freedoms you experience in your world bear witness to this fact.” I am in a position to receive truth and certainty in life.

August 6, 2018 Day Two Steps 8-14
Step 8. Today I will be still. I am better able to practice stillness this time. I can focus on an inner point. If nothing else, I can focus on a point behind my eyelids and see patterns emerging. Secrets of Heaven, 48. “There is no privacy. And yet, truly, this is your salvation because all that you desire is with you. Ones that you have loved in lives past, the accomplishments you have made, the dear ones with whom you have bonded, are all available to you now.”

Step 9. In Stillness all things can be known. I am more and more cognizant of how a still mind allows a Greater Mind and true insight to emerge. And the most important thing in this practice is not to have any expectations or come to foregone conclusions. All is flowing and spontaneous. Secrets of Heaven, 84. “When you know, you know. And your choice is made already. It is this experience that you will want to seek out in your decision making at this point. Decisions made without this are merely presumptions. They may have great emotion, but they do not have a foundation. Those who have purpose are not burdened with decisions.”

Step 10. What is Knowledge? Knowledge is the driving force behind all that is. Secrets of Heaven, 37. “It takes far longer to prepare than it does to act.”

Step 11. I am not apart from life. Yes, I am made of the same “stuff” as everything else around me. We all are. So we are all one. My journaling shows that I have grasped the meaning of this Step. Do I understand what is meant by “Your individuality will be a great happiness to you when it can express life itself”? Secrets of Heaven, 264. “Knowledge possesses the account of what must be done in life, and there must be an opportunity to express this, or it is not wise to discover it.”

Step 12. My individuality is to express life itself. This follows logically on from the last Step. Once I understand I am not apart from life, I am happy to use my individuality, my existence in a body, to express life in the best way I can. Secrets of Heaven, 298. “The Holy Spirit is actually the activating agent of Knowledge. It is the communication of God to awaken."

Step 13. I want to be separate to be unique. I do not need to be separate to be unique. I think I do, which is why I have chosen separation, but I can still be unique as part of the whole, part of Creation. I am a unique part of a single whole. My life demonstrates a unique expression of a Greater Reality. Secrets of Heaven,74. “We hold the key, but you possess the treasure. We cannot contribute without you, and you cannot contribute without us. It is a good Plan.”

Step 14. Review. I am getting to the stage where words are futile and there is no point in trying to express my experience in words. It is intrinsic, it is part of my being, it is felt and experienced. It is not to be spoken about for it cannot be expressed that way. Secrets of Heaven, 261. “Knowledge will take you beyond all concepts, for it is not based upon concepts. It is the reasoning faculty that is inherent within your true Self. It can negotiate the world far more effectively than you can, for it has only one purpose and not conflicting ones. A man or woman of Knowledge is a powerful force in the world.”

August 7, 2018 Day Three Steps 15-21

Step 15. I shall listen to my experience today. “To separate thoughts from Knowledge is one of the great accomplishments which you will have the opportunity to learn in this course.” I am beginning to learn this. I am beginning to make progress here. What I may have doubted as coming from Knowledge in the past is now becoming intuitively obvious. I am better able to separate surface, inconsequential thoughts from the deeper truth coming from Knowledge. Secrets of Heaven, 210. “Spiritual advancement in all places is founded upon two premises. Regardless of the tradition or the teachers, the history or the customs, it is founded upon Knowledge in the world and Knowledge beyond.”

Step 16. Beyond my mind is Knowledge. I am not my mind, beyond my mind is my True Self in communion with Knowledge. I want to hear what my True Self is communicating to me. I want to hear what I am ready to know. I want to develop the necessary refinement of listening and discernment. Secrets of Heaven, 117. “Even for a moment try to feel the gathering that occurs in truth about you—this is called the crown, a gathering of servants. It is as if your mind were but a fire, and they gather about to watch is flames. Into the fire they give their counsel and their love to you.”

Step 17. Today I want to hear the Truth. The truth always brings resolution, the truth is utterly beneficial to you. I feel the truth of these words. I know them to be true. This is part of my experience. Secrets of Heaven, 265. “If you wish to discover a Greater Truth within yourself, you must have the available energy to participate. Knowledge is a very powerful force. It is the most powerful force. If you begin to gain access to it, you must have the strength and capacity to experience it and use it wisely. You must be very strong. You must be stable. Instability becomes dangerous, truly, when a greater capacity is being discovered. Therefore, the first step is to provide stability. Then a constructive change can occur with a minimum of risk.”
Step 18. Today I feel the truth arising within myself. “The truth must be fully experienced ... It is an experience, and so it is something that is deeply felt. ... Truth is something you will feel with your entire body, with your entire being.” This captures it. Secrets of Heaven, 275. “We do not speak of relinquishment in terms of material goods. We speak of relinquishment in terms of ideas that are not based upon what you know. They are merely aspirations that were established because you were lacking something else. People are afraid of Knowledge because they think it will rob them of their own certainty. Yet is provides the only real basis for certainty.” I am in tune with this. Knowledge is the only certain thing and it has my best interests at heart. I do not want what does not come from Knowledge. I am to pursue my true goal without doubt or hesitation. This is what I am doing today and the results are magnificent.
Step 19. Today I wish to see. I understand that true seeing is different from seeing from the perspective of Separation. The physical world is an illusion, a mirage. What is real is beyond the physical. Secrets of Heaven, 159. “Unless you feel what you know, your feelings are of little value and are transitory, being merely reactions within themselves.”

Step 20. I will not let doubt and confusion slow my progress. I am well past doubting and feeling confused. I feel strong, stable, aware, confident of what is expected of me, willing to proceed, open to what Knowledge has in store for me. I love my life and am present to what it is showing me. Secrets of Heaven, 33. “Be satisfied that you can feel our presence, for greater than words it is. Your heart will answer us. It knows the language that we speak, the mission that we have with you. For the heart is not blind and responds only to this one calling.”
Step 21. Review. I still try to draw no conclusions and expect no specific results. I go with the flow, enjoying my life every day, basking in the glory of it all, and feeling grateful and blessed for what has been bestowed on me. Secrets of Heaven, 178. “Have faith that your heart knows the way to its Home for without interference, it will simply travel its nature and inevitable course back to its Home, back to its true relationships, yet seemingly forward, far forward beyond all that you have experienced thus far." I have heard the words "Go home" when I ask Knowledge to show me the way.

August 8, 2018 Day Four Step 22-29
Step 22. I am surrounded by the Teachers of God. The Teachers have passed this way before, they know where they are going and I am to follow, ever aware of their love, support and direction. Secrets of Heaven, 127. “Contact with the Teachers is an exercise in remembering your true mind and your true relationships. The purpose inherent in this is to call you into service.”

Step 23. I am loved, surrounded and supported by the Teachers of God. I no longer question this and accept this gift with humility, accepting too that I am one of the few with the promise and opportunity to embrace this. I no longer feel arrogant in this respect. I am merely humbly accepting my heritage and the Truth. Secrets of Heaven, 186. “The experience of Greatness will give you the perspective needed to give yourself permission to follow what you know.”

Step 24. I am worthy of God’s love. I am feeling this worthiness now and accept it. It expresses my True Self. I am God’s love so how can I be unworthy of it? I have been repairing my errors so that I can experience my True Self so that it may be rendered into the world. The day I did this Step I practiced feeling the Presence as suggested by Marshall. Secrets of Heaven, 285. “You need a larger perspective to comprehend the work of God. God is not human. Goes does not think like a human. God is not made in your image. God has no image. The Source of all life accounts for all life.”

Step 25. I am at one with the Greatest Truth of life. The true establishment of my great relationship is the God-source within me, God’s love for me. Once I experience this, I can extend it out into the world. Once received, it will give of itself naturally. I understand this now. Secrets of Heaven, 300. “If you yearn for it, seek it. You cannot define it. You cannot predict the outcome, but you seek Knowledge because it is natural to do so. For Knowledge contains the memory of your Creator, of your help and of your meaning in this world.”

Step 26. My errors give birth to my Knowledge. Error brings me to value truth and hence leads to true Knowledge. This is the only benefit of error. I understand what this Step is getting at about errors. Secrets of Heaven, 28. “We cannot take your habit of suffering from you, but we can demonstrate to you that it is no longer of value to you, and need not be called upon in response to change or to new experience or information. You are still in charge of your experience, but you cannot lead yourself.”

Step 27. I have a Wisdom that I wish to discover. I was served by the loss of a dream in Scheleiki. The truth served me. It brought me to a new open door and greater joy and fulfillment. This experience advanced and empowered me. Secrets of Heaven, 80. "At this time, as your commitment to participate will grow, your wisdom must grow as well. This is not an easy task. For you must wholeheartedly participate in something that you cannot understand and perhaps only rarely experience.”

Step 28. Review. A powerful review with many insights. I am coming home. Secrets of Heaven, 166. “We wish to cultivate your Knowledge so that you may make wise decisions. You need to do this particularly for those who follow you. If you are to teach the restoration of Knowledge within the world, which is your purpose, then you must learn to reclaim it for yourself in the areas of greatest personal preference.”

August 9, 2018 Day Five Steps 29-35. I decided not to use Secrets of Heaven any more. I keep opening to the same pages.

Step 29. I will observe myself today to learn of Knowledge. I am becoming more and more aware of how I feel and what I am doing at any given moment. I am able to observe my emotions and rein myself in if necessary.

Step 30. Today I will observe my world. The world I see every day is a marvel, a peaceful haven far from the madding crowd. I bask in the glory of the world I see here. It is not the world at large, it is a small corner of paradise.

Step 31. I wish to see a world I have never seen before. I was told in the last step that I have not seen the world the way it really is because I place my judgment on the world. This may be true, but still I feel I do not judge much, especially here in my magnificent surroundings. What is there to judge amidst such peace and beauty?

Step 32. The Truth is with me. I can feel it. Yes, I can. I am experiencing this. I experienced it during the week I did these Steps, it became blatantly obvious to me, I became clearly conscious of it. There are just things I know. This is the Truth.

Step 33. I have a mission in my life to fulfill. Maybe I have already fulfilled my mission, who knows. I do not know what it is, but I am sure I can do it and have probably already done it. I won’t know until I leave this world.

Step 34. I am a beginning student of Knowledge. I am teachable, I am still learning, but I do have something under my belt, I am not here empty-handed. But I am still in the beginning student mode, since I cannot claim to know everything…yet, if ever. I don’t think it is possible to know everything. Then what would we do? I am happy to be a beginning student of Knowledge.

Step 35. Review. I am not to use my life for understanding, I am simply to observe and not judge, then I will be in a better position to understand. This past week is supposed to have given me an opportunity to learn something of The Greater Community Way of Knowledge. Have I learned anything? I believe I have, but it is tucked away in the recesses of my mind. I can catch glimpses of it, but it is not accessible all the time. I feel the main point is that things are not as they seem and I must always remain open and flexible. I am not to allow myself to become bogged down in my emotions, assumptions and fantasies.

August 10, 2018 - I did this review after I got back from our walk, before lunch, don’t remember the precise time.

Step 36. My life is a mystery to explore. I welcome this mystery and wait in anticipation for what will unfold, utterly confident that it will be for my higher good and the higher good of all those involved.

Step 37. There is a way to Knowledge. There may be many tangential ways, but the main way is through Stillness. This is the realm of Knowledge, where in stillness all things shall be known. The trick is to become fully present to this Stillness without preferences and fantasies, thus allowing Knowledge to manifest in my life.

Step 38. God knows the way to Knowledge. This is the answer to the last Step. All other ways I may think of and construe for myself are only tangential, the icing on the cake, the main substance lies with God and understanding God and how God works in the world.

Step 39. The power of God is with me. I know that God has placed Knowledge within me, it is a gift from the Creator of All Life. Thus, I accept that the power of God is with me. The power of God is manifested through Knowledge, which is manifested within me. So it all makes sense.

Step 40. Today I will feel the power of God. I no longer wish to be lost in valuing my own thoughts, I wish to feel the power of God manifesting in my life. I have to know that my thoughts, good as they may seem, may not be the Truth. I have to be willing to let them go.

Step 41. I am not afraid of the power of God. I don’t think I have ever been and I am certainly not now. I am ready for whatever the power of God, the power of Knowledge, has in store for me, for I know it can only be good.

Step 42. Review. I have the self-worth to accept the gifts offered me and reap their rewards and benefits. I feel a calm well of strength within me. I know and I do not doubt what I know.

August 11, 2018 - 7.13 - 8.00

Step 43. My will is to know God. I am not fearful regarding what I know and most deeply feel. I do not fear my own will. And yes, my will is to know God. This is the most natural will and I am open to recognize and experience it.

Step 44. I wish to know my own strength. Maybe I don’t know how strong I am, maybe I have not yet plumbed the depths of my own strength, or maybe I think I am stronger than I actually am. I have not had the opportunity to put it to the test yet. But I believe I am strong and can handle anything that comes my way.

Step 45. Alone I can do nothing. My physical self is limited and I need to work through it and realize I cannot do anything alone. I am lowering my expectations of myself. I realize I need the assistance of others, that all is a joint effort. I cannot take the credit for anything I do, for I can do nothing alone. Even if I do something without the contribution of others, I am still assisted by my Teachers and Spiritual Family. I never fully do anything alone, for I do not have those capabilities.

Step 46. I must be small to be great. This follows on from the last Step. I accept that I need to work in conjunction with others, that I am too small and limited to go it alone. However, this understanding embraces my greatness. In relationship, I am great. I am doing a great work and cannot come down.

Step 47. Why do I need Teachers? Because I can do nothing alone and am too small to accomplish anything without the assistance of others. I do not know it all, so I need someone to teach me.

Step 48. True instruction is available to me. It is if I am humble enough to accept it. True instruction comes from my Teachers and my Spiritual Family. My task is to distinguish this instruction from the ideas and thoughts that come from my surface mind. These thoughts are not true, for I cannot create true ideas myself, I can only receive them.

Step 49. Review. I have done this review over the past seven days - seven steps each day. I feel I have done it to the best of my ability, reviewing the instructions for each day and my experience. I have been successful in many ways and have experienced new accomplishments. I have a deeper and better understanding of how Knowledge works in my life and am more in tune with myself and my world. I am also aware of the obstacles. My surface mind throws out things and I must stop and reorient myself. But at least I am aware and always moving on.


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