Step Thirty-Three

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Step 33. I Have A Mission In My Life To Fulfill.
You have a mission in life to fulfill, a mission that was given you before you came here, a mission that you will review once you have left. It involves the reclamation of Knowledge and the proper engagement with others to bring about specific results in the world. It is not so important at this moment that you evaluate your current life to see if it reflects this greater purpose, for you are now involved in the reclamation of Knowledge. As your Knowledge becomes stronger, it will shine its beneficence upon you and through you. Your activities will then be adjusted as is necessary. Thus, you need not blame or condone the past or your current activities, for you are now adhering to a greater strength within you.

In your two long practice periods today, dwell upon the idea that there is a great mission that you have in life. Think about this. Do not become immediately convinced by your own first responses. Think about it carefully. Think what this could mean. Think of the moments in your life when you have thought of this before or have entertained its possibility. In your two practice periods, you will have an opportunity then to consider this, but beware—make no conclusions yet.

Practice 33: Two 30-minute practice periods.

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Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

December 9, 2012 Round One: This is all very intriguing, because of course I want to know what my mission and higher purpose are right now, at least that is how I felt when I first embarked on the Steps to Knowledge. I thought it was a bit of a bummer to have to wait until the end of my life to know whether I had accomplished my mission or not.

Now, however, even though not that much time has passed since I began the Steps, I feel a new contentment and willingness to just take life as it comes, confident that as I reclaim Knowledge, I will be led in the right direction. And if I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing already, it will soon become clear and I will know what I need to do. And if I have not already met the people I am supposed to encounter, this will happen in due time too—I will have this encounter. I have absolutely no doubts. And I want to be ready and awake and receptive, clear in the knowledge that this is what is meant for me. No conclusions, I will just wait and see.

August 2, 2014 Round Two: I am still waiting for my mission to dawn on me and I have no foredrawn conclusions about what it might be, nor am I harboring any grandiose ideas. I think this is natural for a student who has already been through Steps once. It became very clear the first time I did Steps that my mission in life is nothing earth-shattering or phenomenal, nothing I will not be able to handle. On the contrary, it is something well within my grasp, something that requires talents I already have, opportunities that are available to me if only I am alert enough to take advantage of them.

I feel I am given a hefty clue when this Step says: “It involves the reclamation of Knowledge and the proper engagement with others.” I also take great comfort in the fact that as Knowledge becomes stronger in me, my activities will then be adjusted as is necessary. This sort of takes the pressure off and prevents me from trying to construe things for myself. I go with the flow, ever alert, ever listening, ever in tune with what is going on inside me, attentive to what I am thinking and feeling.

As I reflected during the two practice sessions, I realized I have not given much particular thought in the past to what my mission might be or even that I have a mission. I always felt I was here to observe and learn, acquire new insight, gain new consciousness, I never really felt I have anything in particular to give.

I am not making any conclusions at this point, I am merely entertaining the thought that my mission may be to share how the world looks to me from where I currently sit. I am anticipating the unfolding of the fern.

July 20, 2018 Round Three: I am to think carefully about the fact that I have a mission in life to fulfill, but I am not to define it or come to conclusions. I still agree with what I wrote the last time. I have thought in the past years of doing Steps that my mission may be to translate the NM into Russian. But I am not sure. I am not coming to any conclusions. Volodya is due back today, or so he said, but he has not called. Will he show up or won’t he? Knowledge tells me not to waste so much time and energy on thinking about it. He is not important. We move on different planes.

I did the first practice in the greenhouse again from 4.30-4.50. Twenty minutes again. This feels just right. I listened in Stillness, but no specific insights came. I am past speculating on what my mission might be, if I ever speculated on it in the first place. I am not big on having a mission to fulfill, I just want my life to be a demonstration of Knowledge.

2nd practice - resting after lunch, but I dozed off for ten minutes. I do wish for my life to be a demonstration of Knowledge, regardless of who is paying attention or not. I draw no conclusions, I only have ideas. I do not know. It shall remain a mystery until I pass on.


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