Step Forty-Four

Step 44. I Wish To Know My Own Strength.

This affirmation you may find very acceptable because of your immediate need for it in your current circumstances, but the affirmation is far deeper than you may at first realize. You have far more strength than you have claimed, but it cannot be fully realized until its application is directed in a manner that truly regenerates you and brings forth your true abilities.

How can you approach your strength when you feel weak and helpless, when you feel unworthy, if you are burdened by guilt or confusion or in anger blame others for your own apparent failures? To claim your strength means to release all that holds you back. You do not release your obstacles by claiming they do not exist. You release them because you value something greater. Their obstruction is merely the sign that you must pass through them. Your own strength is then cultivated. You seek your strength, and you use it to find your strength. We wish for you to know your strength and to utilize it on your own behalf.

In your two meditation practices today, in silence and in stillness, attempt to feel your own strength. Do not let thoughts alone dissuade you, for fears and doubts are only thoughts—vaporous things that cross your mind like clouds. Beyond the clouds of your mind is the great universe of Knowledge. Therefore, do not let the clouds obstruct your view of the stars beyond.

Practice 44: Two 30-minute practice periods.

Here you will find the entire book free for download

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

December 22, 2012 Round One: This Step speaks to me in a very authentic way today. I feel called upon to return to a writing project I began several years ago and refashion it from my new vantage point, after recognizing and claiming my strength and directing it in a manner that truly regenerates me and brings forth my true abilities. Let the clouds of my mind part and dissipate so that I can see the stars beyond and use Knowledge to guide me where I need to go.

August 15, 2014 Round Two:"Beyond the clouds of your mind is the great universe of Knowledge."

This is so inspiring to me. It is becoming so obvious to me that my personal, surface mind is extremely limited and full of extraneous garbage that only weighs me down, keeping me in the grips of confusion, doubt, and feelings of unworthiness. It is very easy to feel weak, helpless, and unworthy. But beyond the clouds of my mind is the great universe of Knowledge where all things can be known and I can feel my strength.

During the two practice periods I kept repeating the affirmation “I wish to know my own strength.” I cannot say I was rewarded with any superb insights, but the day’s practice did leave me with a feeling that there are certain things I “know” that I feel very comfortable with, certain things that make me feel content in my own skin. So all in all, I feel pleased with today’s practice.

I often recall Marshall's words in this context: "Never doubt what you have always known."


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