Step Fifteen

Step 15. I Shall Listen To My Experience Today.

"Today I will listen to my experience to find out the content of my mind."

Realize that the true content of your mind is buried beneath all that you have added since the day you were born. This true content wishes to express itself in the context of your current life and current situation. To discern this you must listen carefully and in time realize the difference between the true content of your mind and its messages for you and all the other impulses and wishes that you feel. To separate thoughts from Knowledge is one of the great accomplishments which you will have an opportunity to learn in this course.

The one practice today of 45 minutes will be devoted to inner listening. This will require that you listen without judgment of yourself, even if the content of your thoughts is disturbing. Even if the content of your thoughts is disagreeable, you must listen without judgment to allow your mind to open. You are listening for something deeper than the mind, but you must go through the mind to get there.

Practice 15: One 45-minute practice period.
Here you will find the entire book free for download

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

November 17, 2012 Round One: I am not sure I am doing this right, but this is what happened when I did this step today.

It was as though I travelled out into space beyond the confines of Earth, through the starry expanses until I found myself in a dark dark place, so dark and dense that I thought I would be unable to stand it, I would go mad with claustrophobia and want to battle my way out. But I let myself sink into this space, feel its denseness, feel its pitch blackness, like soot or black velvet, dense and impenetrable, accept it and even be prepared to stay there if that is what was meant to be. Then in the distance I saw a crack of light, a door slightly open, first very faint, but then the light becoming stronger, breaking through the dark with ever brilliant rays, until I stepped through it, blinded at first, but then finding myself in a beautiful landscape. A landscape so familiar, so luminous and fresh. And I knew I would always return to this place.

Such is the ability of my mind to conjure up fairy tales. I can tell myself it is not fantasy, but how do I know if I am telling myself the truth?

July 14, 2014 Round Two: This is precisely what I have been wondering lately – how do I separate thoughts from Knowledge?

A case in point is the incident with the woman showing up out of nowhere and asking me if I would like to buy a house in a nearby village by the lake just when I had been thinking intensely about the country house I dream of and asking to be taken there. Is this just materialization of thoughts? Or is this evidence of Knowledge? How can I know? Nothing has transpired about the house. There are problems. So I am thinking that this is not evidence of Knowledge, but me trying to bend things to suit my wishes, when Knowledge has other plans.

So I am taking the Step at its word—one of the great accomplishments I will have the opportunity to learn in this course is separating thoughts from Knowledge. I will continue applying my efforts to learn this, since this for me is the key to discovering the Truth.

As I devoted the time to inner listening today, I felt as if I have a long way to go in order to know the true content of my mind, to uncover what lies buried under all I have added since I was born. I am too distracted by the thoughts that churn in my surface mind, and even the things I think are coming from a deeper place do not truly express the content of my mind. I am still unable to access Knowledge properly. Knowledge is there, but I am not listening deeply enough.

The true content of my mind is way, way down there, still beyond my conscious grasp.

July 1, 2018 Round Three: This time I am more in tune with the contents of mind, I find I listen to my mind on a regular basis and am better able to distinguish my thoughts from Knowledge. I am comforted by the fact that I am to listen to my mind without judgment, even if the content of my thoughts is disturbing and disagreeable. I have disturbing, disagreeable thoughts about Volodya, I am aware of them. I feel I am doing a pretty good job about listening to the content of my mind and conscious of what I am thinking and feeling. I am to go through my mind to find out its true content.

The practice I did the first time - passing through a dark, dense place to reach a glorious luminous place of love and grace - has become a regular part of my practice. And each time I am able to pass boldly and fearlessly through the dark to reach the light. Disturbing thoughts this morning were about going down 16 points on Lumosity, even though I did not do terribly on any of the three games, just I did not do better. But I am only playing for myself, so there is no need to be disgruntled. Sometimes I do really well on all three games, but only go up one point, if at all. I just keep doing it and enjoying it anyway. I am listening to my experience and feeling that nothing really is bothering me, there is nothing to fret over or worry about. If my progress on Lumosity is the worst of my thoughts, I can’t be going far wrong - lol! I am doing what I am doing and all is well.


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