Step Three Hundred and Seventeen

Step 317. I Need But Relinquish My Ambivalence To Know The Truth.

How simple it is to know the truth when the truth is truly desired. How easy it is to recognize ambivalence and to see its devastating impact upon your life. How simple it is to see the evidence of ambivalence in the world around you and how it undermines the deeper inclinations of all who dwell here. Seek, then, escape from ambivalence, for this is confusion. Seek, then, escape from the burden of constant decision making and choice, for this is a burden.

The man and woman of Knowledge need not burden themselves with constant deliberation of what they must do, how they must be, who they are and where they are going in life, for these things become known as each step is anticipated and taken. Thus, the great weight that you carry in the world is released from your shoulders. Thus, you begin to trust yourself and the world. Here peace is possible and assured even for those who are active in the world, for they carry stillness and openness within them. They are unburdened now and are in a position to truly contribute.

Remind yourself of your lesson upon the hour and as you look upon the world, see the effect and influence of ambivalence. Recognize how disabling it is and how it emanates from and supports confusion. It is the result of attempting to value the meaningless and to ignore the meaningful. Here things of no value compete with things of true value in the estimation of those who perceive them. Recognize this as you look upon the world. Let not an hour pass today without practice, for in this way this day will teach you the importance of Knowledge. It will teach you that ambivalence must be escaped and that it is the curse of confusion upon the world.

In your deeper practice periods, escape your own ambivalence and re-enter the sanctuary of Knowledge where in stillness and in peace you can fully experience the power of Knowledge and the truth of your own nature. This is a day of freedom. This is a day of understanding your dilemma and realizing that your escape is at hand. Take this step with confidence, for today you can escape ambivalence.

Practice 317: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

April 29, 2014 Round One: Ambivalence is certainly a hard nut to crack. I can hold visions in my mind’s eye of situations where ambivalence does not disable me, they are magnificent and empowering, but there are so many more factors apart from my own ambivalence that muddy the picture. I personally seek escape from ambivalence, but I do not live in a vacuum and I do not have the power to rid others of their ambivalence. There are situations where other people’s ambivalence directly affects my world, so I am not free to always do what I want, even if I do relinquish my ambivalence. This Step says I will know the Truth if I relinquish my ambivalence, but can it really be that easy? Ha, there’s ambivalence for you!

I am still seeking the Truth regardless and trust that the right solution to certain dilemmas will be found.

June 23, 2015 Round Two: Today was a low practice day because I was busy picking wild strawberries in the forest near my country home. Many villagers are out picking strawberries at this time as a way to make some extra money. They pick them by the bucketsful and sell them to the local collection points to then be sent to Moscow. My husband and I are not typical Muscovites – while we can afford to buy berries from others who pick them, we prefer to do the picking ourselves. The only problem is that we are not as familiar with the forests and we don’t know the best places, so we spend more time hunting around than actually picking. It took us three hours yesterday to pick enough berries to provide us with several jars of jam—vitamins for our “small hungry children to eat in the winter,” says my husband, tongue in cheek. I laugh and retort, yes, our children never seem to grow up and are always hungry – lol! Despite the hot weather and the pesky flies, it was a very enjoyable time, with a couple dips in the icy water of the river to freshen up and fresh wild strawberries for supper. No ambivalence there!

I agree with Tom C. who says that the Wisdom I and II books provide a framework for understanding Steps to Knowledge. I add that they are a magnificent companion. And I found confirmation in Rainmaker’s post on the Steps Forum today.

“... everyone must learn to find out what Knowledge is and how Knowledge speaks through them. 

"A great task this is and one with many stages of development. It is something that everyone who begins this great journey must accomplish. And they will experience Knowledge differently, not because Knowledge is different in them, but because their interpretive skills and orientations are different.

"This is a very important point because at the outset in The Way of Knowledge, everyone wants to have his or her individuality accentuated and validated. Everyone wants to be more unique, more important and more special. Of course, while there is a great investment in this, there is also a deeper desire for union, cooperation, community, affinity, shared purpose and shared accomplishment.

"So, living and following The Way of Knowledge does not make things look different. You will still have good days and bad days. You will still have days when you feel certain of what you are doing, and you will have days when you are uncertain. You will still cry and get angry. You will still do silly things. You will still make mistakes. But while all this is going on, something else is growing within you and becoming more powerful, more real and more evident. There is the great garden growing - the garden of Knowledge.

"There is a fire burning within you - the Fire of Knowledge. 

"It is growing, day by day.

"In the Steps to Knowledge Program you begin a daily practice. It is not a practice that you govern. It is not a practice that you adapt to yourself. It is a practice that you step up to. It is a practice that you adjust yourself to. You cannot improve it, but you can participate within it. Your practice at the beginning is very small, but it is consistent, and to follow it, you have to persevere and apply yourself. At first, it asks for very little time and attention. But what it does ask for it asks for consistently, not a day here and a day there, whenever you remember or feel like it, but every day. And if you miss a day, you come back and rededicate yourself. Your practice will grow, and as it grows, you will see that it is in keeping with the progress of your life. Yes, you will have days when you do not like it or understand it. 

"You will have days when you feel grave self-doubt or self-deprecation, but as long as you are practicing, you are building a place for Knowledge ... to emerge within you."

Excerpts From:
Walking the Way of Knowledge 

May 21, 2019 Round Three: Those excerpts from Walking the Way of Knowledge are superb. They speak to me strongly today. I really feel as though I am living the Steps now, something that Marshall spoke about in his teaching on May 11. I don’t think this is being presumptuous, I am really feeling it and experiencing it.

Ambivalence leads me into confusion and prevents me from knowing the Truth. I need not burden myself with constant deliberation, for everything becomes known to me as each step is anticipated and taken. I trust myself and the world. I will not allow things of no value to compete with things of true value and cloud my vision. I am not ambivalent or confused. Let this be my understanding today.