Step Two Hundred and Sixty-Two

Citizen Five perhaps

Step 262. How Can I Judge Myself When I Do Not Know Who I Am?

If you do not know who you are, you can only judge what you think you are. Your thoughts about yourself are largely based upon your expectations and disappointments. It is very difficult to observe yourself from within your personal mind, for your personal mind is made up of your personal thoughts, which are not born of Knowledge. To view yourself with Knowledge, you must be in relationship with Knowledge. This will lead you to experience yourself in an entirely new way. This experience must be repeated and expressed over and over again, in many, many situations. Then, you will begin to get a real sense and experience of who you are. This sense and experience will not be born of condemnation and unforgiveness, for only your idea of yourself can be disappointed. Life will disappoint you in this way, for life can only fulfill you according to your true nature and True Self. To realize this means you have realized the value and meaning of life and your inclusion in it. This requires discernment. This requires Wisdom. This requires a step-by-step preparation. This requires patience and tolerance. This requires that you learn to use your experience for good not for ill.

Therefore, your condemnation of yourself is unfounded. It is based merely on assumptions. Remember this upon the hour and consider it in light of all the events this day, which will teach you the meaning of today’s lesson. In your two longer practice periods, once again engage your mind actively in attempting to comprehend the meaning of today’s lesson.

As you penetrate your own self-judgment, realize it is born of your fear and based upon assumption. If you realize you don’t know who you are and you are completely confused about this, then you will place yourself in a position to become a true student of Knowledge. You will put yourself in a position to learn all things rather than attempting to defend your assumptions. This represents your studenthood. Your function in life now is to be a student of Knowledge. Use your mind purposefully today. Use your mind objectively. Use your mind to realize what you do not know and all that you need to know. Use your mind to appreciate and to utilize the steps that are being given to you now for you to reclaim Knowledge in the world.

Practice 262: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

February 17, 2014 Round One: As I contemplated this Step today and really applied my mind to it, I realized I am certainly not the person who lives in my physical body, but something more expansive. I cannot deny my physical self with its petty thoughts, grievances, misunderstandings, inability to know, grudges, and so on, but I can realize that this is not really me, this is not my True Self. My True Self is something much bigger, brighter. I am a Being of Light, pure, unsullied. When I meditated I saw this light-filled being, larger than life, expansive and next to it a small dark figure, dense, black – both were me – my physical self and my spiritual self. The physical is temporary, it can be forgiven its shortcomings, while the spiritual is eternal, bright and shining, my True Self.

I don’t think I have grasped the true meaning of this Step or what is required of me, I need to engage my mind more actively in it. For now though, I understand that I should not condemn myself for my shortcomings, for my stunted thinking, since this is my physical self and is only an idea I have of myself that is not born of Knowledge. It is not my True Self. So I can forgive myself for my follies since I am still learning the Way of Knowledge and am still working toward reclaiming Knowledge. I still have a long way to go.

April 27, 2015 Round Two: I am in a new situation today, perhaps one that will provide a perfect opportunity to discover more of my True Self. I have moved out to the house in the country. There are so many new things to discover and learn. Things here are simpler in one way, but more challenging in others. It is a whole other world.

I will not judge myself, for I know that my physical self, my “ego” self, is not my True Self. To discover my True Self, I must embark on a mysterious journey, and making judgments will only get in my way.

March 27, 2019 Round Three: To view myself with Knowledge, I must be in relationship with Knowledge. This will lead me to experience myself in an entirely new way. This experience must be repeated and expressed over and over again, in many, many situations. I feel I do not judge or condemn myself much any more. I see my true worth, and although it may not suit most people or jive with them, that is of no consequence. The important thing is I know my worth and I am experiencing myself in a new way. I have a small part to play and I am performing it as best I can. The world will do what the world will do, people will act without Knowledge, there is nothing I can do about this. I have to be prepared to roll with the punches and not expect too much. I do not judge myself too much any more.