Step Two Hundred and Twenty-Nine

Step 229. I Will Not Blame Another For My Pain.

Today’s idea represents a tremendous shift in understanding. It must be born of Knowledge to have true effectiveness, however. Its meaning is not immediately apparent, for you will soon find that there are many circumstances in which others seem completely responsible for your pain. It will be very difficult, given your habitual thinking and the assumptions upon which you live, to deny that others are indeed the cause of your pain. This, however, is not how Knowledge views you, and you must learn not to view yourself in this way.

Pain is always a decision that you make in response to any stimuli in your environment. The body will have physical pain if it is so stimulated, but that is merely a sensory response. It is not the true pain that hurts you. The pain that hurts you is the crown of thorns of your own ideas and assumptions, your own misgivings and misinformation and your own unforgiveness towards yourself and the world. This produces a pain both within your mind and upon your body as well. It is this pain we wish to alleviate this day.

Therefore, consider today’s idea as a form of remedy against pain. If another is the cause of your pain, you have no remedy except to attack or to change the other person. Even your attempt to change them for good will be a form of attack, for underneath your altruism will be hatred and resentment. Therefore, there is no remedy for pain if its cause is beyond you. But there is remedy for all pain because Knowledge is with you.

Therefore, all pain must be recognized as the result of your own decision. It must be recognized as the result of your own interpretation. You may feel that you have been wronged by another or by the world. This feeling is actually present in your mind, so it need not be denied, but you must look beyond it to its source and to the mechanism for its emergence. To do this, then, you must utilize your own faculties. This will give you great strength. You will be able to do this because Knowledge is with you and because with Knowledge you can do all things that Knowledge asks you to do.

Without condemnation, the world is so relieved that it can begin to recover itself. Therefore, upon the hour repeat this idea and consider its meaning. Go deeply within it to discover what it truly holds for you. In your longer practice periods, enter stillness and peace, for without condemnation upon the world and upon yourself, the mind is at peace already.

Practice 229: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

December 19, 2013 Round One: I have long been aware that no one is to blame for my pain, that if I am hurt by someone’s actions or words, it is because I have decided to react that way, it is my choice to feel pain. I always have a choice in how to react, it is my decision, no one puts a crown of thorns on my head apart from me. When I have done this in the past, I have realized that part of me enjoys wallowing in self-pity, I do it because it is comforting to a certain extent. But it is also very unproductive and it serves no real purpose to feel emotional pain or blame others for my pain for long. It is self-defeating and stems from my low opinion of myself, my unforgiveness of myself. I see this. So I embrace the idea in this Step, I see its truth and I do not condemn myself or the world. Again I feel the freedom of choosing what Knowledge is showing me rather than clinging to my false assumptions and beliefs.

March 21, 2015 Round Two: "The pain that hurts you is the crown of thorns of your own ideas and assumptions, your own misgivings and misinformation and your own unforgiveness towards yourself and the world."

This makes sense to me today, and it fits perfectly with an encounter I had this morning that set me momentarily back and caused me to feel some emotional pain and anguish. I see how my own ideas and assumptions color my thinking and cause me to react and behave the way I do. So much misconstrued thinking comes from the fact that people have a hard time really understanding each other, really understanding the meaning behind the words they choose to speak or write. If I allow myself to be hurt on this basis, I really am wearing a crown of thorns and only have myself to blame.

P.S. Photo quote – this painting captures the Russian countryside that inspired Russian poet Sergei Esenin, who touched many hearts with his deep-felt poetry and was called a “poet of the people.” He greatly suffered, but did not blame others for his pain. This painting is called “Good Morning!”

February 22, 2019: I totally get that pain is of my own making, it is my choice, my interpretation of a situation and may not be true, I can choose not to feel pain. Knowledge does not blame or condemn, when I look at the world with Knowledge, I do not blame anyone for my pain. I see from a higher vantage point. I am past blaming anyone for my pain. This Step is already self-evident. “Pain is always a decision that you make in response to any stimuli in your environment.”